BUFFALO, N.Y. (WKBW) — A Lockport man who says he was sexually abused by a Buffalo Diocese priest more than 100 times as an altar boy has voted against the diocese's $362 million bankruptcy settlement.
The survivor, who asked not to be identified, tells me Father Herold Nuwer abused him at the former Our Lady of Loretto Church on Buffalo's West Side between 1986 and 1988. He is among more than 900 survivors asked to vote on the settlement.
"I remember all the crying. I remember the pain. I remember how I felt afterwards — the shame, the embarrassment," the survivor said. "I was sexually abused over 100 times in that period.”
The man attended Buffalo School 38, located directly across the street from Our Lady of Loretto Church. He said he was dropped off at church each morning before walking to school — giving his abuser near-daily access.
"I went to school almost directly across from Our Lady of Loretto Church at Buffalo School 38, and every morning I would get dropped off at Our Lady of Loretto for morning mass. It went on until about the time I would have to go to school, so I would walk across the street. So, I would see this man on a daily basis, you know, five days a week," the survivor said. "But he would say I was a good boy. I was helpful, he was proud of me, and it made me feel good. Even though I knew what was going to happen next.”
The survivor said the abuse happened in multiple locations on church property.
"There were instances where it happened in the church on the altar, but mainly in the rectory in his bedroom," the survivor recalled.
When I asked why he didn't tell his parents, the survivor said his grandmother was the only person he ever confided in — and she couldn't bring herself to believe it.
"I really didn't know who to reach out to. I told one person in my life when I was younger, my grandmother, and she is the reason I went to church. And she didn't want to believe it, and I completely understand that someone who is as religious as she was didn't want to believe it. She kind of let it go over her head, and my secret died with her," the survivor said.
The survivor said the experience he endured still haunts him.
“I see it in my dreams. I see it in my nightmares, my flashbacks. I could tell you what the altar looks like. I could tell you what he looks like,” the survivor said.
He also recalled when the diocese moved the priest out of his parish.
“Father Newer vanished one day. I went to church and boom, he was gone. There was somebody else,” the survivor said.
The priest was assigned to a different parish after leaving Our Lady of Loretto. His abuser died in 2009, but the impact on the survivor's life has been lasting.
"I just that's the biggest thing for me is I want to forget, and I firmly believe that somewhere out there he is making me remember, even though he's not among us anymore," the survivor said. "I don't want to say that I've gone crazy, but I remember, and I've spent my whole life having nightmares and flashbacks, and even driving by a church is difficult for me because I remember.”
WATCH: 'I'm never going to forget': Buffalo Diocese clergy abuse survivor calls settlement 'an insult'
He voted no on the diocese's $362 million bankruptcy settlement and said he wants accountability — not a financial resolution.
"I think the settlement is an insult to me and all other victims," the survivor said.
WATCH: Clergy abuse survivors in Buffalo Diocese finally to vote on settlement
The survivor told me it is not about the money for him; it is purely about holding the Catholic Church accountable.
"I don't want secret files. I want accountability. I want the Pope to go on TV and say we're sorry,” replied the survivor. “I've spent years trying to forget. I'm never going to forget.”
The Buffalo Diocese returns to federal court on October 27 for a final confirmation hearing.
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