Victim's Brother: Domestic Violence Must Stop

March 12, 2013 Updated Mar 13, 2013 at 10:22 AM EDT

By WKBW Admin
By Rachel Elzufon

March 12, 2013 Updated Mar 13, 2013 at 10:22 AM EDT

Buffalo, NY (WKBW) - The man accused of murdering his wife in a home on Buffalo's east side is now in custody -- and police say there is a history of domestic violence at that home.

Family members who have lost loved ones to domestic violence say this is yet another horrible reminder about how deadly and dangerous abusive relationships can be.

"You just never get over it," said David Wisniewski. "You kind of just learn a way to fake it through."

Wisniewski's says he will always feel the pain of his sister's death.

Jackie Wisniewski was a victim of domestic violence. Her ex-boyfriend, a trauma surgeon at ECMC, shot and killed her at the hospital where they both worked.

In the manhunt that followed, Jorden killed himself.

"It's a Jekyll and Hyde type of situation," Wisniewski said. "They're very presentable on the outside, but there's a whole other side to them when the door closes."

It has happened again here in Western New York.

Buffalo police say Antoine Mattox confessed to killing his wife, Nedra, in their home on Andover Avenue.

Domestic violence calls brought police there several times before.

For David, this case is a grim reminder that Nedra and his sister did not have to die.

"Whoever said time heals all wounds lived a pretty good life," he says.

One out of every four women falls victim to domestic violence.

The most recent numbers show 26-hundred cases per year for domestic violence in Western New York.

However, experts say that number is low. Many victims never report abuse.

The Family Justice Center is now trying to beef-up resources for victims.

"They don't realize the degree or danger that they're in," explains Mary Murphy. "One of the things we can do at the Family Justice Center -- we have a danger assessment pool. We use that with our court and with our partners to better assess how danger."

However, leaving a domestic violence situation can be hard -- and dangerous.

Wisniewski says when his sister moved out, Jorden began making constant threats and stalking her -- even putting a GPS on her car.

Yet, he's stunned by the most common question he gets: why didn't she leave him?

"That question alone places a lot of the blame on the victim," Wisniewski says. "It takes the responsibility away from the perpetrator and places it on the victim. Why should they have to do anything?"

He hopes his message encourages victims -- or a victims loved one -- to get help.

Signs of domestic violence include jealous, outbursts and threats. Experts say it all comes down to control.

Anyone who is even the slightest bit worried about a domestic violence situation should call the Family Justice Center at 716-558-SAFE or the Domestic Violence Hotline at Erie County 716-862-HELP.

Experts encourage contacting a professional advocate to help victims leave the situation.