The Favorite Child

July 8, 2010 Updated Jul 8, 2010 at 4:03 PM EDT

It's hard to say what makes brothers and sisters get along and what makes them fight. Sometimes it's as simple as one sibling getting more attention from Mom and Dad. But, new research may have a solution for that problem. Researchers at the University of Illinois have been studying sibling rivalry. They found that in some families, parents favor one child and the other kids don't understand why. Also, the parents might not even realize that they're doing it. All of this can cause a rift between siblings. Dr. Betsy Gard, a Licensed Psychologist, says it "can certainly breed resentment towards the favored child. Resentment towards the parents. A sense of hopelessness in a child who doesn't feel like they can do anything to get their parents love and approval like their sibling." But the study also found that when kids are told why one child gets more attention, for example if they have special needs, the other children will understand. Dr. Peggy Gallagher, who specializes in early childhood and special education says "They understand that because they have a special need, that that's okay, and they accept that and they are able to adjust their expectations."
Experts advise parents to spend alone time with each child to make them feel more special.

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